Panic Attack

I am on the verge of having a panic attack! I know I shouldn't be but I am! Here is the long story short. Jeremy and I have been suffering finally We took a couple of vacations earlier in the summer, and now because of that our checks are drastically smaller then what we are used to, so we had to cut a lot out of our budget and go with only what we have to have. So we were all ready suffering in that way. Well on wednesday Jeremy call me up and told me he got hurt on the job. He was pushing some carts into the graudge at walmart, when he was turning them side ways to put them in, he heard a loud pop in his back and he went straight for the ground. He could not get up for several minutes he just sat there on the side walk. Well once he was able to stand he went in and told his boss, they told him to take pills and get back to work, So he did. For they were supposed to have six people out there working and he happened to be the only one working that day. So he came home in a ton of pain. I gave him more pills and put him to bed, Well when he was getting up to get ready to go to work on thursday I had to help him out of bed, then we got him into the bath room and he went really pale and was on the verge of passing out. I was luckily able to get him to sit on the toilet before he completely past out. Well at that point we took him to the ER to try and firugre out what is wrong with him. They asked some ?s and said that it sounded like he had a partly torn musle. So we got all the forms that we needed and headed home. Well I got Jeremy settled it to bed and I went to his work to take the papers in and tell them what happened. Well his work got all pissed off at me for we did not tell them before we took him in to the ER when we tried to call at four thirty in the moring no one answered there dang phone. I guess it is the company policy that before any one can go on workmans comp they have to go and have a drug test taken and they have to go and see their dr. So then one of the bosses started flipping out and told me that I had to bring him in to the store so that he can fill out an accident report. Which really pissed me off for Jeremy could not walk barley 10 feet with out feeling like he was going to pass out from the pain. well luckily there was a really cool mangager standing right next to us at the time. He said that he would fallow me to our house let Jeremy fill out the papers at home, and then we could get Jeremy loaded up in to the car to go to the drs. Which was really nice of him to do that for Jeremy and I. So we get to the drs. The freaken drs office said that once Jeremy took the drug test I could go back there with him to see the dr. Well once he got through they refused to let me go back there and wait with him for I would "containment the evidence". What freaken evidence he all ready took the pee test so it was not like I could contaminate that evidence. and he spent a good two and a half hours back there with the dr and waiting for the dr. In the mean time I had Ashley with no extra diaper, no sippy cup no pig, cranky as can be, I was bawling for I wanted to know what in the heck was wrong with my husband. Man that took forever! He finally came out and the dr said that he did have a partially torn muscle. And that he cant lift over 20 pounds he cant push or pull any thing. and he cant sit or stand for over 5 min he is just supposed to lay down. And the dr told him not to go back to work until at least tuesday, and even then it is a wait and see game. Well he stayed home friday and saturday like he should. Then today he announced to me that he is going back to work in the morning. I don't think he should but he is an adult and I know he only will do what he thinks is best.
Well for the real reason why I am starting to stress, with Jeremy being out of work for all day thursday all day friday all day saturday all day monday and maybe all day tuesday Jeremy is going to be missing out on about 70 hours of work, that is going to be really hard on the check especially when we can bearly afford food as it is.
So I have been doing the best I can with helping Jeremy out I have to make him food get him out of bed get him off the couch get him to stand up or sit down, have to get his pills and the heating pad and ice pack, and I have to help him walk any where he wants to go. Then on top of that I have to take care of Ashley also and make sure that she is well taken care of. Then on top of that I have to watch three little boys every day. Which if we weren't all ready low on money I would tell their parents that I cant watch them at this time. But that is what is helping me keep my sanity, knowing that at least some money is coming in. So I know that I will have a few bad days coming up, but I am hoping that the lord will look out for us and bless us. I guess I need to put more faith in the lord that every thing will work out.
So tomorrow I have to get up about 500 take Jeremy to work, come home and watch a little 4 year old until 1230, and in the mean time Jeremy is going to be calling me some time between 10-12 to come and pick him up, then i have to make Jeremy and Ashley lunch and then I will get MAYBE a half an hour break until the cutest little boy comes over that I will watch from about 130 until 9. After that I have to make dinner put Ashley to bed put Jeremy to bed and then my self. So hopefuly I wont start a panic attack tomorrow but I am on the verge of one now!