Tuesday, April 21, 2009

What been going on in our life....

A lot, at the same time, nothing much.


We found a house that we fell in love with, put in an offer, the bank accepted it. So we started to get ready for all the stuff you have to do that comes with buying a house. Well last week we asked if we could get an extension on the closing date, so that we could make sure our financing could go through. Well the bank turned that down and said that every thing would have to be done by May 1st. So we thought ok that is due able, will be a little rush, but still doable. Well the next day the bank came through and said that because we asked for the extension, they dont think we would be ready by may first, so the released us from the contract and put the house back on the market. OF course we were devastated, but theres not much that we can do. So some time in May we will get back with the realitor and try again. In the mean time we will be letting our credit clear up a little bit.

My back has been killing me lately, it is really weird. Its my lower part of my spine. and it feels like it is broken in half, I am not even joking. It hurts so bad!!! I hate it for I have the hardest time lately trying to keep up with Ashley, and now I feel like I cant even lift her for my back hurts so bad. I want to go to the dr, but I am pretty sure I know what he will say, " You are getting to fat, loose the weight and you will feel better" And I refuse to go to the dr so he can tell me I am fat and then he cant do any thing to help me. Does any one have any suggestions of what I could do to help relieve some of the pain?
So I have been suffering for almost a month now, but I still cant bring my self to go in. I have tried almost every stupid diet out there, I have been excersizing, when it is cold out side I go up and down our stairs several times a day, just so I can get moving, now that it is warmer out side I will be walking out side more. So its not that I am not trying to excersize but its just this stupid weight that wont come off. I talked to one of my friends who is a nurse a few weeks ago, and she said that it might be why I have gained so much weight since I have had Ashley is because when I was pregnant with her, my body litterly went in to starvation mode, I could not keep any thing down. And so any food that would stay down, it would store as fat. Well once I had Ashley my body was still storing the food thinking it was in starvation mode still. Which it makes complete sence to me. But I still want this weight down. I dont want to be a size 2 but even a size 16 would be nice, Hopefully in a few years I will be able to get insurence to pay for my lap band, or I will be able to get a loan to pay for it.

Lately with all that has been going on I am starting to realize just how much of a miracle baby Ashley truly is. So when we started trying again last year we thought it would be a piece of cake, but over a year later, still no baby. So going through all of this, I am starting to realize just how lucky we are to have Ashley in our lifes. Even though she has hit the terrible twos and can be a huge pain in the butt sometimes, I feel so blessed that she is my daughter and that I am able to be a mom to her. I love you Ashley! Thank you so much for choosing me to be your mom! I love you!

Either then that not a whole lot has been going on with us. Just living the day to day stuff.

3 comments:

The Finlinsons said...

The only things I could think of that have those symptoms would be PCOS, Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (I think that's it). It hits usually in your twenties, you gain weight that is super hard to get rid of, and it becomes much harder to get pregnant. You could look into it just to see. My sister has it, that's how I know about it. Other than that, sorry, I'm not much help. Just keep trying and pray. God knows much more than I do!

Brenda Fisher said...

Keep your chin up girl, I know exactly how you are feeling. If you still want to get together and do some walking let me know, I would love it and could definitely use the exercise too!

April said...

Hey Bonnie, sorry to hear about the back pain! I hope it feels better soon. I don't know any great remedies, but I know my mom has had lower back pains before, and she started sleeping with a large cushion under her calves every night and I think that helps her a lot. Sometimes I think back pains have a lot to do with your sleeping position. Your daughter Ashley is so cute, and I'm glad you guys have her as your little miracle! I hope you'll be able to have another baby soon!